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Morning Docket: 03.24.16

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* "If you give a judge a meeting, he’s going to ask for a glass of milk, because he is probably very thirsty from that one time you compared him to Idi Amin." In light of the stranglehold Republicans have on Chief Judge Merrick Garland's fate when it comes to his confirmation hearings, Dahlia Lithwick composed this cute riff on the children's book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. [Slate] * In an attempt to get with the times, Vermont Law is offering a Reduced-Residency Juris Doctor program, where students will be able to take up to 15 credits online in an off-campus location. Unfortunately, this flexibility comes at a price -- the same exact price as the school's regular J.D. program. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg] * Considering the high tensions during oral arguments yesterday in Zubik v. Burwell, a legal battle having to do with the ACA's contraceptives mandate, the Supreme Court seems poised to issue another 4-4 split decision in one of the most controversial cases this term. If that happens, the lower court ruling would be left intact. [New York Times] * The ABA Journal wants to know how much you paid in law school tuition. If you graduated before the cost of a three-year legal education was akin to a mortgage, please take a moment to reflect on how lucky you are. If you're a recent graduate, you've got plenty of people to commiserate with about your hefty debt burdens. [ABA Journal] * "Did the Supreme Court make weed legal across America?" No, no it did not, and you must be stoned if you think that's what the high court did in its decision, or lack thereof, in the Nebraska v. Colorado case that it begged off on earlier this week. For now, the federal legalization of marijuana is nothing more than just a pipe dream. [Inquisitr]

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